Stalker Safety Tips

Written by: Sayma Ahmed

As a part of Dressember, in one of my reflections, on Sunday the 4th of December, I wrote a reflection on why I wore my dress, and whom I was advocating for by wearing the dress. I hadn’t expected that my reflection would be so long, although I did indeed get quite driven by the topic, so I wrote freely about it.

December 4. Sunday. 2016. 7pm

Today I am wearing a dress for people in the world irrespective of class, gender or age, who are stalked around by (not all but some) people as a form of harassment or threat. I feel that the way that people react to this is very genuine and that not many people find this to be a great issue rather than the victims, who have been stalked. Stalking does, in fact, leave a great scar on those who fall prey to it. Be it online, or physical stalking, none are of a suitable or respectable conduct, thus should be punished and banned. By wearing a dress today I would like to recognize those who have been stalked and harassed in all different forms. Myself as a victim of being stalked, I feel that it is a very great issue as bystanders most of the time, fail to notice or tend to ignore that someone around them is being stalked, from which the person who is being stalked is more likely to be misguided or misused by the stalker. And as a form of responsibility below I have listed some tips and guides to follow if you see someone being stalked or are stalked yourself.

How can you spot a physical stalker in public?

  • It is stalking

  • If someone random is very eager about someone

  • If someone is following the person for a peculiarly long time

  • If someone is randomly are staring at the victim in question for a long while

  • If someone is waiting for them, and running up to the victim to “talk”, which makes the victim feel uncomfortable and frightened

  • If someone is running/or fast walking and looking towards someone who they may not be connected with, in an unusual manner (Do this through a perceptive judgment of the situation), this means they are perhaps the stalker

If someone is running away from someone, in a frightened or fast-paced manner, they are the victim. Tips

  • Observe people’s eye contact towards another individual if you suspect stalking

  • Observe if someone is forcibly contacting through physical or verbal means to another individual, especially if they are not in favor of the physical or verbal contact, then the immediate sign is that the person conducting the forcible contact is a stalker.

What to do if you see a stalker, stalking someone?

  • If the situation isn’t very severe or dangerous, for you or the person being stalked, tell an adult or intervene and ask the person/s who you think is falling prey to a stalker, if they know the stalker in question.

  • If the situation is very severe and seems to be a threat to the victim(s), immediately call the police and let them know. In Singapore, the Police Force hotline is, 1800-255 0000, but for very urgent assistance, 999 is the emergency number, keep these numbers close to you.

If you feel like you are being stalked:

  • Let your parents/guardians know as soon as you can, also tell them your whereabouts.

  • If this is a regular occurrence, for example, you are stalked by the same person every day when you go to school, make changes to your route to avoid the person who is stalking you, and let your parents or guardians know as well.

  • Move closer to more popular areas, avoiding those routes which are isolated, or have less traffic in them. (More people means, that the stalker can’t commit to stalking you as there will be people, also if there are more people, some noble person might eventually help you if something goes wrong, also it will have more officials who could assist you to if something goes wrong.)

  • Do not go through unfamiliar routes, however, stick to routes which are known to you, more populated and has an official place near it, (for example: near a restaurant, school, police station, MRT station booth, shop, near the bus driver if you are on a public bus) and stay away from, construction sites, stranded parks and lonely routes or lanes and on a public bus stay away from the back and top section of buses, as they are less populated.

  • Carry with you pepper spray for emergencies, to spray at the stalker and run away from them until you can reach help.

  • Also, carry a device with you and utilize it to collect evidence. Through which you can contact your family/guardians through and from which you can record any forms of extortion caused by the stalker to you (this can act as evidence that you were being stalked and can help if your family and you decide to file a police report on this, because stalking in reality is a criminal offense and can be charged by law.)

  • Call the police if the situation is getting uncontrollable, and run toward a more popular place in public, or toward a place which is safe, like a police station, and stay away from corners and edges as they are also dangerous spots, from which the stalker can kidnap you as well.

  • If you need shelter, go to shops instead of toilets, you are more vulnerable in the toilets because they are hidden away most of the time.

  • Keep in mind too that if you use a route a lot, for example, when you are going back home from school, then it is best to walk in big groups or at least with a friend, who you trust as they may be able to help you if you get stalked, they will have your back.

Other things to remember:

  • Search yourself up on google, to see if your personal details can be found online easily or not.

  • Try to change your password to important accounts every two or so months, it keeps a fine line steady between the stalker getting your passwords and keeping your account absolutely secure.

  • Avoid “checking in” as it is called on social media, or giving your location/travel plans on social media sites, even if it is just your friends, it can be dangerous if stalkers get to know where in the world you are. It either calls for two approaches, “Come and rob my house, I am not there, I am on a holiday for some more days” or “I am here, you can find me here, come and stalk me.”

  • Don’t give your personal data, such as your name, address, birthday, phone number, passport number, credit card number, age, or nationality out to other people, for those who you randomly add on social media or those who you meet online.

  • Believe in your feelings. If you have a gut feeling (instinctual feeling) that you are being stalked around by someone, and if their behavior portrays that of not right intentions, by forming obsessions with you, let your parents and guardians know, and if required, contact the police at your disposal too.

If you have any further, questions or comments, please do not hesitate to ask either myself or anyone else. You can enter these inquiries below if you do have any, and if you would like to talk personally with me about this topic please let me know through gmail, my email is 8869. On a final note, I leave you with the image below to reflect on, as there will always be a dark side to everything as there is a light side to it as well.

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Image from the courtesy of, (Her Campus, 2014)

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